Uncle Ho, Those Rice Paddies Are Way Too Green!

Greetings all from cloudy Hanoi, Vietnam. Within the past week and a half, life has carried us to northern Vietnam, among hundreds of islands, and a fancy smchancy new looking suit. Bet you can't wait to read, neither can we.

We're happy you're here

We left our last Asian beach at Jungle Beach and passed on to the city located at the skinny, Slim-Fast mid-section of Vietnam, Hoi An. Hoi An is a town renowned for retaining its' culture and architecture from the past, AND, and this is a big AND, as a place to have suits, dresses, and any type of clothes you want tailored to your exact specifications.

Would you like some souvenirs?

Basically you can't walk anywhere without being approached by those 3 magic words, "you want clothes?" Nadine and I thought about having some clothes made in Hoi An, but since we planned on staying in Hanoi a little longer, we decided that I should have a suit made there. More to come about this suit later in the blog.

Shoe-eye view of Hoi An's streets

Several centuries ago, Hoi An was popular as being a major port in Asia. Trading took place all over Asia and as far as Europe, but then Hoi An was replaced by a more attractive port. This other port must have worn a little nicer makeup and heels. But the houses and architecture of old town Hoi An would have all been torn down and replaced if not for the help of our good buddy, tourism. Hoi An has been protected by the surge of tourism and is now recognized as a World Heritage Site. Thank you tourism.

With our time wilting away in Asia, we jumped on a 16 hour train taking us even further north to the cool capital city of Hanoi. H-A-N-O-I has the same letters in its spelling as H-O-I A-N, but different spelling. Same same but different (very popular t-shirt slogan all over SEA).

We have spent our time in Vietnam, and especially in Hanoi with a mix of delight and frustration. We did advantage of the Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum, the Ho Chi Minh Museum, the Ho Chi Minh communism, in addition to Ho Chi Minh ice cream shakes and Ho Chi Minh miniature dolls. Anything Ho Chi Minh, you might be able to find it here in Vietnam. Maybe even a city named after the guy. Actually over at the Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum, they have the founder of Vietnam's Communist Party in a large mausoleum on show 9 months out of the year. We just happen to be in Hanoi during the 3 months when his body is sent to Russia for upkeep to fix any leaks and old patches of Ho Chi Minh's body that might be falling off. In reality, Ho Chi Minh really wanted to be cremated. Sorry about that Uncle Ho, but everyone wants to see you in Vietnam.

How about that for a tomb?

We've now hit a stage in our trip where we are experiencing travellers fatigue. It's a result of constant, daily hassle to buy t-shirts, fruit, suits, books, small children, belly button lent, mototaxis, random pieces of paper, sweet bread or that same souvenir that is offered to you by every other store you've passed in the last 30 seconds. You do try and walk down the street and keep your composure while smiling and saying "no thank you" and continue on your way. With Nadine's famous psychology degree in hand, she has helped us create a few coping strategies. One of the more interesting ones we have for moto taxis is that when they yell "Mototaxi," we respond with "poop." Simple as that. We just say "poop." That baffles them long enough that we are able to make our getaway giggling like small children.

Huc Bridge, Hanoi

Truly, unlike any other country we've been to in 7 months, we've had to constantly be on guard with locals automatically increasing prices on everything by 400% and consequently having to bargain the price back down to it's normal price range. If we were on a short trip, that wouldn't be much of a pain, but having to watch our budget, it's a hourly headache combined with having to dodge mototaxis at the same time. That is why we welcomed our retreat from Vietnamese city life to the calm of Halong Bay.

Now before we jump on a bus to the incredible Halong Bay, let me enlighten you with some interesting facts we've noticed about Vietnamese daily life. We have travelled the length of this country by train and bus and no matter where you are, you will pass rice paddies that are a green's green, proud of their chlorophyl and not afraid to show it off. Green rice paddies substitute for front yards. "Ok kids, go play with your friends in the rice paddies, don't step on the rice though. That's your supper for the spring. Have fun!" Keep in mind that we've never been to Ireland, and it's supposed to be quite green there, but this is the same green I imagine a leprechaun eating his Lucky Charms on in Ireland. Reminds me of a young 10 year old Texan after he returned from Minnesota one summer, this place is way too green.

Everyone is welcomed to Hanoi with this poster and a rose

What do Vietnamese women taking public transportation and New Mexican twins on a first date have in common? They always get sick on the way there. Ok, just had to get my one required jab in on New Mexico. Really, every bus and train we have been on, there is always at least one Vietnamese woman throwing up in a plastic bag and always seems to be close to us. Maybe it isn't the actual transportation, maybe we just stink. Nah, that can't be it. Not sure what it is, but they can't handle the rocking of public transportation.

Majestic Halong Bay

Back to Halong Bay. Halong Bay is a spot where hundreds upon hundreds of islands jut out of the sea making an impressive show for anyone lucky enough to pass by on a junk boat. We intended on visiting the bay on our own and jumped on a bus from the crowds and hassle of Hanoi to the peace and tranquility of Halong City, our jumping off point to the islands. We did have an afternoon to pass, so I made my way to the casino with $11 in hand and Nadine's chagrin etched my mind. Now if I lost a couple dollars, I would join Nadine for a walk back along the boardwalk, but if not, we might enjoy two cans of Coke for dinner. So when Nadine noticed I hadn't walked out with my head down for almost an hour, she knew that I hadn't played yet or I was winning. It was the latter. By the time I was done, I walked away from the Roulette table with $55, a small travelling fortune. Also a perfect way to pay for our two day, one night tour of Halong Bay.

Just soaking it all up in our easy chairs

The following morning a warm sun greeted us and noone pushing small children or t-shirts on us to buy. Great start to the day. After being exchanged by several guides at the wharf in the guides own version of the stock exchange, we hopped from boat to boat until we set foot on the correct one. For the rest of the afternoon and evening, without real knowledge what we were going to visit other than impressive islands, we calmly and peacefully cruised along Halong Bay in a chair admiring all of the beautiful vistas popping up in every direction. That was just what we needed to help our travellers fatigue.

Some of the great pics from Halong Bay

Another great part of the trip out on the bay was that we had a great group of jovial people on board with us. In addition to two older couples from Quebec, we were joined by some German, English, Australian, and Chinese travellers. That night after kayaking and dinner, we sat around a table and learned a German card game, Scheiße, while we taught them our American college version of Arschloch. Both games were a hit and when we come by your neck of the woods in the near future, we will teach you the German card game.

Some moving pictures of our boat ride through Halong Bay

After the retreat from big city Vietnam, we had to go back to Hanoi where we are now waiting for a suit to be completed. It was supposed to already have been sewn together, but after a fitting in the store in front of everyone, i.e. no dressing room, everything needed a little adjusting. First of all, the pants were more like lycra for a workout at the gym, and one sudden bending over would be fatal in a social situation, even a New Mexican wedding. Secondly, the shoulders and back were too tight. I would feel like Chris Farley as a fat guy in a tiny coat. Finally, the pants weren't long enough. Suits in Vietnam are fitted to specifications of a man half my size and attempting to lure the opposite sex. The result was a suit with a bad fit and a bit tight all over. Thus, a suit is keeping out of China and a date with the Mao dynasty.

But life is good, yet we are ready to exit Asia and head further southwest over to Africa. We promise that we will have "State of the Belly Report #2" on the next blog entry as well as our secret hand shake for all to enjoy.

Some stats for you, our blog has now officially had over 10,000 hits over the past 7 months of which 1,243 have been from me reading people's comments.

As long as a particular suit cooperates, we will be heading to China tomorrow for two weeks, before catching a plane from Hong Kong to South Africa on February 15th.

This weeks question, who is going to Win the Super Bowl, and what will the final score be?

Stay classy readers!

JW

That's the sun setting on this blog entry and on Halong Bay